Wonka must have worked the little bastards too hard. Apparently, they decided to unionize with knives, swords and some leftover ARVN rifles. Willy should have spent that extra money on booze and hookers for the company Christmas Party instead of blowing it on cheap "Hong Kong" purple suits and top hats. Did you think you were going to get an invite to the League of Extraordinary Gents, Wonka? Yeah...I don't think that club wants to associate with a clown who runs around with orange skinned, green haired midgets...and works the poor unfortunate buggers for "room and board". No wonder they traded in those funny white trousers for O.D. Maybe you can fend off the "fuzzy wuzzies" with your cane...better yet...throw them a chocolate bar...I'm sure that'll stop them dead in their tracks...and by the way, the Oompa Loompas are wise to your golden ticket scam, Willyboy...all they wanted was to roast and eat the little fat German kid...but no, you couldn't even give them that...you bum.
Produced in Korea in the 1990's, these Grey Iron
copies are perhaps the pinnacle of "blob like"metal doo drops. These horrific excuses for toy soldiers look
like they would have more use as turtle ship armor than sitting on the shelf as
a reproduction toy from the past. I
guess the Koreans think every Grey Iron is a "Doughboy"...it doesn't matter if it's a wild Indian,
pirate, Colonial officer, African native, Marine or an ice skater...they all
get the same "Oompa Loompa" green paint job and the mean-ass, "rip out your
guts" facial expression. I guess
Korean sweat shops don't understand the concept of "variety"...or,
more than likely, those slave drivers are just cheap...
The only redeeming factor on these little turds
is the price. Most can be had for a buck
apiece. Compared to original Grey Iron
castings, well, that ain't bad. I can
live with repainting them and using them in some rough war gaming. For the price, you can drop a sledge hammer on
the little twerps and not feel too bad...and if you do...have a chocolate
bar...maybe you'll win a gold tin-foil ticket to Wonka's little shop of
horrors.
